Beggin’ Strips
For starters, I know it’s not bacon. There are essentially 2 reasons that I know this: The first reason is, bacon is not kosher. The second reason is basically why they make the claim that I don’t know; that is, I’ve never had bacon. I would try to sue on this point, but I can’t show damages. In fact, I probably get beggin’ strips treats because Hal doesn’t know I know it’s not bacon. However, I’m aware that if it were actually bacon, Hal wouldn’t give it to me, he’d eat it!
That being said, I eat them anyway. Why? I’m a dog, it’s what I do. Eating things is in our job description. You see, we dogs live with a presumption of food. In other words, everything we come in contact with is presumed to be food until proven by a reasonable stomach ache to be not food. That’s why I mollified Hal’s cellphone, his dustpan, his ice tray- I was collecting evidence before I could conclude that I shouldn’t be chewing on them.
On the other hand, I guess it would only be fair to Hal to point out that there are things that he’s eaten that he’s shared with me, like beef ribs. So, the truth be told, were Hal to have bacon, he’d most likely give me some, too. Not that he would, of course, because it’s not kosher, and I’m only writing this in case his mother reads it.
