Obedience class
As I’ve written before, Hal doesn’t think “Sit” is my forte. While I still haven’t figured out this Sit thing, I’m not exactly sure what a forte is either, unless it guards Ye Olde Shoppe. The past few weeks we’ve been going to obedience classes. Now, Hal is a good human and doesn’t need the classes, but I’m pro-education so, why not. Besides, under the provisions of No Puppy Left Behind it’s high quality and affordable.
This particular class is led by an organization called
“Who’s Walking Who” and, well, for those of you that know me, I set the ground rules on Hal’s very first walk. When the Pack Leader from WWW is talking, I’m generally not paying attention. After all, she’s not talking to me. We’re not going anywhere so I put my butt on the ground and wait until Hal is ready to play.
Finally, he turns to me and says, “Okay.” I get up in anticipation. Apparently, he’s learning 3 new games in addition to “Sit”. They are “Stay”, “Down”, and “Heel”. I have no idea what’s going on, but I’ll try to describe them. For “Sit”, Hal says, “sit”. He has a nice lilt to his voice, but apparently that’s the whole game. It’s a short game, ends abruptly and bores me to tears. Well, maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but it is boring. So, whenever Hal plays Sit, I put my butt on the ground and wait for the next game.
I think Stay is related to Sit. At one time there was a game Sit, and a game Tay, and they combined them into Sitay. Then dropped the “i”. But if that’s the case why is there still Sit? Anywho, when Hal says “Stay”, he puts his hand in my face for a second. This seems to be the whole game, too. It is also every bit as boring as it sounds. So, I’m not going anywhere and I’m relaxing with my butt on the ground. Occasionally, when Hal plays “Stay”, he walks away from me. Okay. Fine it’s a dumb game and he can play it without me. But its always only a few seconds before he comes back to give me scratches.
Next comes “Heel”. I have to play “heel” because it is a walking game. Hal grabs the leash very close to me, and we walk. I don’t see the point- we walk all the time and he says nothing. When we play Heel I don’t pull because I’m stronger than Hal- so I just walk alongside him, until we stop. Then I put my butt on the ground because its more comfortable with the short leash.
Down is a fun game. But sometimes Hal doesn’t play fair. In Down, he takes a treat and holds it between my front paws and I have to get it without biting through his fingers. My head twists back and forth as I work at the treat. Before I know it I’m completely stretched on the ground. Then I get the treat. Sometimes Hal tries to play Down without the treat, and he has caught me a couple of times, but now I’m onto him. The other thing I like about Down is that its real easy to roll onto my back and get a belly rub.
The other day we were playing Down, and then Hal went to play Stay. I tried to entice him back by rolling over but I thought it got me in trouble. The Pack Leader came over. She led me in front of the class, and I was thinking, “Uh oh. Here we go”. I jumped up to plead my case that I was just being playful. She wanted to play Sit. Yawn. I put my butt on the ground. Then She wanted to play Stay. Double Yawn. I waited. She walked away. Then she turned to me and I guess she was thinking about a game to play. I heard her say something like “ummm” and she had a treat. Maybe it was “Yum”. So, I ran over and jumped up and got the treat. She did the same routine a few times. And that was that.
When she stopped handing me the treats I thanked her and said “but if its all the same to you, I’d rather play with Hal.” I still don’t get this Um game or Yum game. Basically, humans play boring games. Wait a second! Maybe that’s the point: the sit game is me putting my butt on the ground! That would make stay be my not going anywhere when he walks off and down lying on the ground. That would make sense, but I still say they’re silly games. Some dogs might like fetch, but as you know I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that. Wow, Meatloaf. Now I’m hungry.
